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| Brijsax |
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  Registered Member #12 Joined: Sat Sep 26 2009, 04:09PMLocation: St. Helens Posts: 166 Thanked 5 times in 5 posts | When I was born I weighed 8lb 3oz. After the doctor circumcised me I weighed 6lb 8oz. 52% of students pass their Maths G.C.S.E. Unfortunately, I was in the 34% that didn't. Erections are for pussies. What has 2 legs in the morning, 27 legs in the afternoon and 58 legs in the evening? A man who has decided to collect legs. I've been balancing this large, black, flat disc on my head for 3 days now. I think it could be a record. I saw three men standing in the road, throwing rice at each other. I asked them what they were doing and they said they were having a pilau fight. Heather Mills on Dancing On Ice... Isn't that technically sledging? A female friend of mine suggested that we should start having 'no strings' sex. I don't normally use string anyway, I use rope. A sausage, an egg, and two slices of bacon walk into a bar. The barman says, "No sorry, we dont serve breakfast." A Muslim was shot in the head with a starting pistol in London last night. Police say it's definitely race related. My wife said that I only ever want sex with her when I'm drunk. That's not true. I usually want a kebab as well. If this Global Warming gets any worse, we're all going to freeze to death. I've started tipping in restaurants There's nowhere else to take my rubbish. I fell asleep whilst rafting the other day. I just drifted off. My wife said to me 'why do you wear womens clothes its weird' I replied 'if its that weird than why do you do it' That shut the bitch up. My wife said to me "isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters OPRN have been worn out?" I ordered a sun lounger from Germany the other week. It arrived with a towel already on it. Being the sadist in S&M games means never having to say you're sorry. I splashed out on a new TV last night. The missus was livid... the warranty doesn't cover being pissed on by a drunken man. After queuing up for almost half an hour in the chemist last week, I finally got to the counter and the woman looked at me and said, "I'm really sorry about your wait." I replied, "you're not so fooking skinny yourself, actually." An Olympic frisbee player died this week after catching something that was going around. I made passionate love to my bitch last night and the neighbours even complained about the noise. They said the barking kept them up all night. What's the difference between a dodgy washing machine and an Essex girl? The washing machine will spit out your load. I'll never forget my first kiss, although my uncle denies it. My missus was always complaining at me for splashing piss on the bathroom floor when I came home from a night on the ale. I found a solution. I now put one foot in the bog and piss down my leg! Just seen this on BBC News... 'Couple jailed for promoting illegal child boxing matches' I thought to myself, that’s absolutely disgusting..... don't they know the first rule of fight club? You know you're getting old when..... you only get a semi on whilst walking through the Lingerie department. I had sex for 28 minute doggy style last night... it lasted 4 minutes in real time. Little Johnny was taking confession, and he told the priest that he was having impure thoughts about his sister. "Is this a sin, Father?" he asked. The priest nodded and said, "Yes, Little Johnny, indeed, it is a sin. Look at the two beautiful brothers you have." Scientists have confirmed that only 3 things would survive a nuclear war: 1) Cockroaches 2) Scorpions 3) The DFS Sale Peace...Live in it or rest in it! Website: click here | ||
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| wayne fletcher |
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 Registered Member #18 Joined: Sun Sep 27 2009, 10:40AMLocation: wigan Posts: 51 Thanked 1 time in 1 posts | Pmsl gooduns on there bri tosh | ||
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